Sunday, August 28, 2011

Weigh in 2:31

I am really picking up some bad habits in the past few weeks.  I am ok with just about anything I do as long as it is a choice.  I feel like I am slipping into things that are not good habits to have and I am not giving them their proper thought.  Tomorrow I need to start fresh.  It will not be easy with work and the show, but I have done it before, and I know I can do better than this.  My goal for september is 10-15 pounds.  I want to get back below 280 and I know I can do it if I buckle down and do the work.  I have backtracked too far now.  It is time to get to work.

Current Weight: 290.6 lbs
Starting Weight: 440.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: -2lbs
Weight Loss in Year 2: -3.4 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 149.6 lbs

Friday, August 19, 2011

Weigh in 2:30

Getting back into the swing of things.  Adjusting to a very full schedule after a few slower weeks has been a bit trying.   I think I allowed the added stress on my time to affect my choices.  I did not plan well enough and made some poor choices. With the job and a show it is part of the deal, but I know I can do better.

Current Weight: 288.6 lbs
Starting Weight: 440.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: -2lbs
Weight Loss in Year 2: -3.4 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 151.6 lbs

Friday, August 12, 2011

Weigh in 2:29

I probably should have learned by now that the rational component of this journey is vastly overrated.  There are so many variables that the minute I think I have a grasp on a pattern, the minute I think I have it all figured out, is the day I am proved to be wrong.  Sometimes this is frustrating.  Sometimes it is great.  Today I was more than happy to be proved wrong.  I was expecting a big jump in my weight.  I was not particularly good over my vacation.  I ate what I felt like, I went out carousing, and I did not get in much exercise. What I did do was have a fantastic, relaxing, rejuvenating week.  When I got back to Chicago I made a concerted effort to get back into a good pattern.  I ate nothing but salad with grilled chicken for lunch and dinner for two days, and after barbecue, cake, and beer for a week this was nicely cleansing.  In my internal algebra I thought that a week of hedonism would outweight 4 days of austerity.  I was gloriously wrong.  Here are the numbers:

Current Weight: 286.6 lbs
Starting Weight: 440.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 0.4lbs
Weight Loss in Year 2: -1.4 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 153.6 lbs

Is it a big weight loss? No.  am I OK with that.  Absolutely!  I think what I have failed to equate, and what is impossible to quantify, is happiness.  I had been counting on good results to act as reinforcement.  The converse was that when I had less than ideal results I was a bit down, and that fed on itself.  By doing things to just have fun and not really thinking about it I reduced my stress, enjoyed my life a lot more, and still got good results, which has only served to reinforce the effects pf a good vacation.  How do I hold on to this?  I have no idea, and I think worrying about it too much is counterproductive.  What I will take from this is to stop trying so hard to be perfect, to give myself a little more of what I need psychologically, and enjoy things as they come along.  If I get back to focusing on doing the best I can in the moment I think I will enjoy this journey a lot more.  It doesn't hurt that I have had several people think I was 20-30 pounds lighter than I am this week.  I'll take that any day.

(Note that week 28 was skipped because of vacation)