I probably should have learned by now that the rational component of this journey is vastly overrated. There are so many variables that the minute I think I have a grasp on a pattern, the minute I think I have it all figured out, is the day I am proved to be wrong. Sometimes this is frustrating. Sometimes it is great. Today I was more than happy to be proved wrong. I was expecting a big jump in my weight. I was not particularly good over my vacation. I ate what I felt like, I went out carousing, and I did not get in much exercise. What I did do was have a fantastic, relaxing, rejuvenating week. When I got back to Chicago I made a concerted effort to get back into a good pattern. I ate nothing but salad with grilled chicken for lunch and dinner for two days, and after barbecue, cake, and beer for a week this was nicely cleansing. In my internal algebra I thought that a week of hedonism would outweight 4 days of austerity. I was gloriously wrong. Here are the numbers:
Current Weight: 286.6 lbs
Starting Weight: 440.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 0.4lbs
Weight Loss in Year 2: -1.4 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 153.6 lbs
Is it a big weight loss? No. am I OK with that. Absolutely! I think what I have failed to equate, and what is impossible to quantify, is happiness. I had been counting on good results to act as reinforcement. The converse was that when I had less than ideal results I was a bit down, and that fed on itself. By doing things to just have fun and not really thinking about it I reduced my stress, enjoyed my life a lot more, and still got good results, which has only served to reinforce the effects pf a good vacation. How do I hold on to this? I have no idea, and I think worrying about it too much is counterproductive. What I will take from this is to stop trying so hard to be perfect, to give myself a little more of what I need psychologically, and enjoy things as they come along. If I get back to focusing on doing the best I can in the moment I think I will enjoy this journey a lot more. It doesn't hurt that I have had several people think I was 20-30 pounds lighter than I am this week. I'll take that any day.
(Note that week 28 was skipped because of vacation)
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Chase, it was great to have you down here in Houston and to spend some time with you. You looked great and we are so proud of you...again!
ReplyDeleteKeep it real..and at least we got to see one of the few Astros wins in the last few weeks!
Uncle Bob
You are doing great! And yes, I think happiness far outweighs anything else you could measure :)
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