Back From Over The Edge

Oh boy.  September 9th was the last time I posted on the blog.  In the last 5 1/2 weeks I have not really been living the lifestyle I set up for myself over the past year and a half.  In a way that was nice.  Between my show and work the mental break was welcome.  Devoting the time, effort, and energy needed to focus on losing weight was proving a bit much for me in that environment.  Needless to say I have been regressing a bit.  My clothes are fitting a bit tighter, my belly and face are a bit rounder, and a few of the minor issues I hadn't experienced in a while came back, like a bit of heartburn in the evenings.  At this point rationalizing and excusing this, or trying to, does very little.  I am not happy about it, but I shouldn't be.  Every day away from this blog and from good habits made it a bit easier to forget about them on the next day as well.  As the consequences of my inaction started to add up though I found myself really wanting to get back on track.  I am not where I want to be yet.  So I'm back!

Here is the lesson I will take the most heed of from the past few weeks: It did not take long for the process of living healthy to seem incredibly daunting after falling off the wagon, despite a year and a half's worth of evidence proving I could do this.  Its amazing.  Some bad habits came back pretty fast, and to be honest I expected some of that.  I am addicted to sugar.  I know that.  I have compulsive urges to go buy candy.  I was not ridiculously unhealthy either, but I did overeat and the lack of discipline got me into trouble with meal scheduling, and those things really add up.  I'm back now though.  I know what I need to do.  Last night I cooked up a bunch of chicken that I have to eat over the next 5 or 6 days.  I have Brussels Sprouts, peppers, and lettuce in the house, so I have the ingredients to capitalize on the rest of the week.  I will be logging my calories for the foreseeable future, and I think that posting them here is not a bad idea to keep me honest.  Without rationalizing this I would really like to use the "break" as a positive.  My show is about to close and work is slowing down.  The excuses are falling away.  They are even building a Subway on my block so that I can have a great meal option when I don't feel like cooking.  I need to take advantage of this time, and I plan to.