Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Back From Over The Edge

Oh boy.  September 9th was the last time I posted on the blog.  In the last 5 1/2 weeks I have not really been living the lifestyle I set up for myself over the past year and a half.  In a way that was nice.  Between my show and work the mental break was welcome.  Devoting the time, effort, and energy needed to focus on losing weight was proving a bit much for me in that environment.  Needless to say I have been regressing a bit.  My clothes are fitting a bit tighter, my belly and face are a bit rounder, and a few of the minor issues I hadn't experienced in a while came back, like a bit of heartburn in the evenings.  At this point rationalizing and excusing this, or trying to, does very little.  I am not happy about it, but I shouldn't be.  Every day away from this blog and from good habits made it a bit easier to forget about them on the next day as well.  As the consequences of my inaction started to add up though I found myself really wanting to get back on track.  I am not where I want to be yet.  So I'm back!

Here is the lesson I will take the most heed of from the past few weeks: It did not take long for the process of living healthy to seem incredibly daunting after falling off the wagon, despite a year and a half's worth of evidence proving I could do this.  Its amazing.  Some bad habits came back pretty fast, and to be honest I expected some of that.  I am addicted to sugar.  I know that.  I have compulsive urges to go buy candy.  I was not ridiculously unhealthy either, but I did overeat and the lack of discipline got me into trouble with meal scheduling, and those things really add up.  I'm back now though.  I know what I need to do.  Last night I cooked up a bunch of chicken that I have to eat over the next 5 or 6 days.  I have Brussels Sprouts, peppers, and lettuce in the house, so I have the ingredients to capitalize on the rest of the week.  I will be logging my calories for the foreseeable future, and I think that posting them here is not a bad idea to keep me honest.  Without rationalizing this I would really like to use the "break" as a positive.  My show is about to close and work is slowing down.  The excuses are falling away.  They are even building a Subway on my block so that I can have a great meal option when I don't feel like cooking.  I need to take advantage of this time, and I plan to.

2 comments:

  1. You and me, both! It's so strange to feel yourself slip back into old habits with the knowledge that you CAN resist the sugar, fat, etc. Good luck with getting back on track! If you're up for it - share recipes! I always enjoy reading what you make up, quite inspiring for someone like me who is less of a culinary explorer!

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  2. You're still doing great. You're already so much healthier than you were a little while ago.

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