Unintended Reset

One of the benefits of my brief but severe illness has been that it gave me a bit of a natural reset on my diet. I had a whole day where I didn't eat, and as I have added food back in I have had to keep things pretty simple. I also get full just a bit easier so my portions have been better. That is not to say I have been perfect. I had a sever sugar craving midweek and went to town on some ice cream, but for the most part I've had a pretty solid week. I have also taken a few steps that i feel will have a beneficial effect. Not having enough to do is really bad for me. Boredom and loneliness often end up manifesting as eating and more eating. When I had so much initial success I was working a pretty low stress job with a manageable and predictable schedule. Well I am headed back to the same job now (though part time). I think the structure and the fact that there are half a dozen really solid food options within 5 minutes are going to be big positives for me. It will guarantee me a bit of walking time on workdays, and there should be enough down time for me to really cook on a regular basis, and take some classes and make forward progress with my acting. I am pretty blessed to have a really solid financial backstop, so I do not necessarily need the job for the financial aspect, although money is helpful. I just think having a routine is going to be a good step forward.

Weigh In 4:2

It has been an interesting few days. Friday and Saturday were not great. March madness, hanging out with friends, and generally being a human being put me behind the 8 ball. Then came yesterday. I woke up really early and feeling not great. Somehow I had picked up a really aggressive stomach bug. The downsides should be obvious. Without getting too graphic let me just say I'm glad my toilet and tub are close enough together to use simultaneously. There was an upside, though, which was it was a fairly effective reset button for my weight loss. I couldn't keep down water, let alone food, so I didn't use any of my points yesterday, and I got a pretty wicked core workout. All of that added up to me losing almost 4 pounds this weigh in. I figure about half of that is from the bug, but if I am smart I can use an unfortunate situation to my advantage. There is no reason I have to put that weight back on. I am not back to 100%, so it is probably going to be a soup and saltines kind of day. This seems like the perfect time to start building some new habits, so let's see how things go moving forward.

Commitment Issues

It is amazing how easily the excuses can pile up. This past week I skipped my weigh in on purpose. St. Patrick's weekend is, I would imagine, universally bad for weight loss. Add to that my friend's birthday that weekend as well and I just didn't feel a weigh in Monday would be representative of where I actually was. This week has been a bit up and down. Yesterday was a bad day. Self control has been a struggle. OU's basketball team's tournament game was last night so we I hung out with friends. A few beers and brownies later I had shot my weekly budget to hell. It isn't too bad, and I had a couple days 5-10 points below budget, so I am probably on track, but I wanted to kickstart things this week. If I lose weight at all it will be a minor amount. I suppose that gives me something to shoot for next week.

Having something to look forward to is a huge part of what I need to motivate myself. I haven't had much to do lately and that makes it way to easy for me to eat my boredom or depression. It sucks not having a goal each day, and there is only so much I can do to create busy work for myself. There are only so many job interviews or auditions out there, and there are days I have nothing. This coming week I have an audition for Steppenwolf's First Look series, and this is a big deal for me. Something like this can really help get me out of a funk, and I can already feel the difference. I need to capture this little bit of momentum and make it work for me. Weigh in will be on Monday, and we shall see how the last 2 weeks have gone.

Breaking Bad Habits

It is frustrating that after the relative ease of starting things last time around that I am having so much difficulty this time. I am slowly losing weight, so I should probably be patient, but it is hard to have patience for myself after putting myself back in a situation I never wanted to be in again. I think those frustrations were less apparent last time is that I was able to get them out constructively here, and by posting regularly I was proactive and got out ahead of my frustration. I need to be sure to be proactive. Have the right things in the house, and do the right things. Make them habits. I am not even two weeks into blogging again on a semi-regular basis, so the habit is not set yet. I don't think I have been able to buckle down and create the good diet and exercise habits so that they are like second nature to me. I am not doing anything too bad, just not really taking command of the situation. Here's hoping by facing it here, I can be more effective in the real world.

Weigh in 4:1

While this is not week one, this is the first official weigh in of the fourth year(!) of this blog. Year 3 was pretty awful, so here is to turning over an old leaf, so to speak. I weighed in at 404.4 this morning. It has been slow going the past 5 weeks, but I have been going. I've lost about 1 lb a week so far. Not great, but losing is always preferable to gaining. Let's see how this week goes.

Have A Nice Day

If Friday night was not my best (I went out for drinks with friends) then yesterday was that much better because of it. I managed to stay 10 points below my budget without being hungry all day. As always veggies were the key. Both of my main meals were salads and that has always been a great way for me to get full for fewer calories. I even found a new dressing to make that helped with the salad fatigue. Today is the second day of my salad plateau buster so I need to to keep up the good work today and hope that it kickstarts my weight loss. I am not expecting great numbers tomorrow just because of the slacking off I did Monday and Friday this week. Drinking has always thrown major speed bumps in my progress, more than just the calories. That is not to say i have some sort of problem. i probably only indulge once a week at most, but something about alcohol stalls my weight loss for a few days. I'm not sure why, but I know it will happen, so I'm not going to worry about tomorrow's weigh in. In the coming week, though, I'd love to see big numbers. I'd love to see myself back in the 300s by next week. We shall see.

Struggles

Monday Monday. That day kicked my ass. I got stuck out without many good options and by the time I got home I was hungry and had a lot less in the fridge than I thought I did. I haven't had all of my discretionary points this week, but I certainly haven't buckled down the way I'd like. I made a quick grocery run today and have salad and chicken for a couple days worth of meals. Certainly enough to kickstart things. My usual plateau buster is a couple days of salads. I have made good progress with cutting out sweets and I have gotten much better with my water intake. I am making the right strides, but I haven't really buckled down yet, and I need to. I need to do it soon if I plan to get anywhere near my goals for may. Lets see if I can really buckle down and get some positive results this week.

Progress

Last week, though not as successful as I would have liked, was positive. I lost about 3 pounds, which got me off of a plateau I had been on. I think the points system is a bit dangerous for me. One of he things I learned early on was that the type of food I ate was just as important as the amount. Points don't have that taken in, though dietary fiber does mitigate some points in certain foods. A good combination of what I did before and what I am doing now should give me the ease I am looking for without the mental strain that kept me from doing the work in the first place. Lets see how this week goes.