Visual Aide

I promised some before and after pictures a while back.  I hadn't been happy with any pictures until today, though it is not great.  The jeans I am wearing I bought accidentally 5 years ago.  They were 6 inches too small then and 12 inches too small in January.  They are a little baggy now.  Definitely feels good.

Directing last August, so just about a year ago.

Me this April, 3 months into my weight loss and about 3 1/2 months ago.

Today.  Since last August I have lost 120 or so pounds and a foot off of my waist.

I know I need the visual reminder every once in a while.  Thanks again to everybody for the support.

Weigh in #29

One more week down,  They really are starting to run together.  One reason this blog has been so helpful is because it breaks my journey down into manageable chunks.  I can feel how by now without the blog everything would have become one long slog with my failures magnified and my successes minimized.  This is not to brag about the blog.  I just realized how luck I got with this format.  After so many years allowing one wrong step to turn me around completely I am both moving in the right direction consistently and taking the mistakes and setbacks in stride.  One week, one day, one meal at a time.  Here are the numbers:

Current Weight: 319 lbs
Starting Weight: 440.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 4 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 121.2 lbs

Another great week.  Like I said last week the weight loss may be a pound or so higher than ideal, but I am a young guy and can probably absorb a few high weeks more easily than someone 10 or 20 years older.  Another blessing of starting now.  Those who are frequent readers may have noticed the same thing I am really excited about:  I have less than 100 pounds to my goal weight.  98.9 to be exact.  I thought about putting another line into my usual numbers about how many pounds remain to my goal, but I decided not to, and here is why.  That goal, 220.1 is an arbitrary number.  It sounds good, because it is exactly half of my starting weight, bu it was not devised with any medical advice or scientific knowledge.  It is on the border of the healthy weight/overweight line in the actuarial tables for my height, but I have a very large frame (when I grasp my wrist there is half an inch left between my thumb and forefinger), so it is probably a safe, healthy, sustainable weight for me.  Whether it is the right one is what I don't know, so I won't commit to it.  If I look and feel fantastic at 235, or if my body keeps going to 200 that is where I will stop.  This is all about health and I am starting to realize an arbitrary goal may get in the way.  From now on I will think of 220.1 as a median.  It is at or around where I should be, so that will be the placeholder.

In terms of more immediate goals I have three.  The first is 30% weight loss, or ~132.1, so I have less than 11 pounds to go for that.  Another is breaking 300.  That one is not much further off, probably two weeks past 30%, and I would really like to break 300 by opening of my show September 24th.  The last goal is a less quantifiable one, and I think that is a good thing for me.  Dance rehearsals have begun for the show, and in addition to boosting my numbers this week, they have shown I have a lot of work to do.  The dance is not that difficult.  It is a bit taxing, but well within my capabilities.  The difficulty is singing at the same time.  The core strength and breath management that takes is something I don't have right now. I am already doing crunches and leg lifts to improve my core strength, but I need ideas to help me improve my breath control during exertion.  Any of you with ideas on exercises please leave them as a comment.  It may be as simple as really pushing myself consistently and letting the strength build up, but I have a lot of friends who do a lot more musical theater than I do, so hopefully some of you have had similar needs in the past and can offer a solution.  Until next time.

5 Mondays

I thought I would take a little time today to talk about one of my newer habits, Meatless Mondays.  I have to say it has been going very well.  I haven't been tempted to cheat, mainly because I have found some delicious options that I am not tired of yet.  Except for the first one in the challenge I have had to work every Monday, and I have had the same thing for lunch each time, a falafil sandwich from the Mediterranean bakery down the street.  It is something I really like, falafil is very lightly fried so I feel like it is a treat, and because of the hummus, babaganouj, and veggies with which I can customize the sandwich it is something I can do once a week and not get tired of.  Is it a perfect meal?  No, a crudites platter, a piece of fruit, and maybe a small piece of cheese would be perfect.  But my sandwich is tasty and not too bad on calories (I figure it about 500), and that helps me succeed.

Last night was another very successful meal in my Meatless Mondays challenge.  I was over with some friends doing them a favor and they cooked me a delicious meal of steamed zucchini strips with an avocado lemon vinaigrette and roasted sweet potato medallions.  First off, I want to thank Sam and Kat.  The meal was delicious and I will gladly come over to reflect light in a menacing way any time you need.  Second, this was an ideal vegetarian meal for me.  Why?  Because it was delicious, introduced some new ideas in the kitchen (that sauce is one I am stealing to use again.  I would be great on a white fish), and had an "treat" element to it.  In this case the "treat" was the sweet potatoes, which were oven roasted in medallions with a honey and black pepper glaze.  Very tasty.

I am really pleased about my success with forgoing meat one day a week.  It gives me control over that part of my diet.  Before I felt like every meal had to have meat in it, otherwise it wasn't really a meal, just a large snack.  That is ridiculous, I know, but it was how I felt.  Another positive seems to be that I can actually eat a little more, both volume and calorie wise, and still have good results on the scale.  It could be the fiber or other good nutrients but because of that Monday has become a day to look forward to because I can indulge a bit with my portions.  I am shocked by just how successful it has been, even with rehearsals, but because of all of that I know I can make this a permanent, positive addition to my life.

Weigh in #28

There is something about being in rehearsal that makes all the small annoyances that tend to set me off just float by the wayside.  Maybe it is having a focus point for my energy, or maybe I was just itching to get back on stage, but I never quite feel right without a show to work on.  This makes me think I can take that energy and focus it on preparing audition pieces and marketing stuff.  No more between production laziness.  For my health this week, I feel pretty good about things.  I was short on time, but I got out for about 4 miles of walking each of the last two nights, and last night I made good use of the little hill north of Montrose on the lakefront and ran a few hills.  I mentioned Thursday that I had been good in terms of preparing food fro rehearsal nights, and considering I have about 15 minutes between getting off the train from work and getting in the car to drive to rehearsal, I really need to keep that up.  I have good options in a pinch that I can get out, but they are never as good as home cooked, not just for flavor, but cost and health as well.  Here are the numbers:

Current Weight: 323 lbs
Starting Weight: 440.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 4.2 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 117.2 lbs

Not bad at all.  It certainly makes up for last week, the results of which were a little disappointing.  I think that with a little push I can be at or near 300 by opening of my show, which is September 24th.  I will keep the goal at the next week, or by the weigh in of October 1, but it would certainly be nice to hit it early.  Looking at the math I have about 7 weeks to opening, and 23 pounds to go, so as long as I average 3 and a little bit pounds a week I will get there.  That is right at my 1% so it is definitely doable.  Breaking 300 is probably the goal I am looking most forward to other than the end goal because it has been about 9 or 10 years since I was under 300.  I think I mentioned before that I already started writing that blog post in my head.  I am also really focusing on this goal because with the added business and little bit of complacency as of late I really need to keep my eyes on the prize.  Goals and this blog are what are helping me do that, so thanks for sticking with me.  This week we start dance rehearsals, and although this show is not dance heavy, I expect to work up a sweat, so I expect some good results this week.

Work

What an amazing week.  There is nothing like starting rehearsals for a show you are really excited about.  A read through and two music rehearsals are already in the bag and I have a couple of nights off to rest and catch up.  I took my day off from the day job on Tuesday to do a little cooking, so was prepared and smart with my meals even with a time crunch.  The trick now is to keep it up, but I feel prepared for the challenge.

I see things every once in a while that reaffirm my choice to get this journey going and out there for all to see.  Today I read about John Goodman and his 100 pound weight loss.  John Goodman is one of the actors I feel similar to, and who I really respect.  The other was John Candy, so if you put them together I guess that would make me John Goodbar (my apologies).  Moving on, Mr. Goodman mentioned in the interview that his previous lifestyle was a "waste".  It is a sentiment I can relate to.  I think back on the missed opportunities and experiences I gave up because of my choices it is hard not to regret, but I can really use that as fuel to keep me moving.  His change is also likely to help his career, which is a great example of why my previous fears were so misguided.  The choice for better health is always the best one, and as I have said my main goal is to make the best of all available choices.  Fear led me to use my career as an excuse, when in actuality it should have been a driving factor in making these changes.  It may not have been at the start, but it certainly is now, and I feel my recent successes are evidence I am on the right track.  See you Saturday for the weigh in.

Weigh in #27

Now that was a week.  Other than an bump up in my weight over the last couple of days, which I was expecting with my poor habits this week.  Stress may also have played a part, as my body may have relaxed a bit once I finally booked the show.  hopefully between helping a friend move today and starting rehearsal this week I should get myself right back on track.  I just need to make sure I prepare the way I need to so I don't get stuck without a good meal option.  Here are this week's numbers:

Current Weight: 327.2 lbs
Starting Weight: 440.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 1.2 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 113 lbs

Not bad all in all, but considering I was at 326 mid-week, I know I can do a bit better.

6 Months

Weigh in #1 was January 30th of this year, and yesterday marked exactly six months since that day.  It is amazing to think how far I have come since then.  My diet and palate have completely changed, I have doubled the pace at which I can walk (and I have even started throwing in some sprints), and of course I have lost 113 pounds.  I had no idea I could drop that much so fast.  Part of my inner monologue in the past that had held me back from starting this process was because I thought any meaningful progress would take forever.  That is the kind of thought process that sabotages both my health and my acting, because I shy away from the big risky choices and half-ass the whole thing.  I have already committed to no more of that, but I will go ahead and re-commit myself. 

On the other side of that coin I thought losing that much weight would have a more drastic effect on my appearance.  My body certainly has changed, but nowhere near as much as I thought 115 or so pounds would look like.  That is frustrating at times, but in a way it is a good thing.  Another one of my huge worries, and roadblocks to starting, was what I would look like after the weight loss.  I didn't know what my type would be, how it would affect my career, and a host of other things.  The fact that I think I still look like me, just a smaller, fewer chinned me, is a good thing.  I'll try to get a picture today so I can post a before/after.

One last, unexpected benefit has been the change to my work ethic.  Perhaps I simply have more energy, or perhaps one good choice begets another and so on and so on.  Whatever the reason I am working harder and smarter at my career in the theater than I ever have before.  In the last 6 months I have had as many auditions and callbacks as I had in the rest of my time in Chicago.  It drives me nuts to think what could have been, but looking forward I know I can work even harder to get to were I want to be.  I am not content to just get some work every now and then anymore.  Theater is my career and I plan to start treating it that way.  It may take some compromises with other aspect of my life, but knowing what it can be I refuse to let it be anything else.

Onward once again.  Looking at the math if I keep losing about 1% of my weight a week I should hit my goal about weigh in #70.  We'll see where things settle out in the end, but for the moment I am satisfied with how far I have come.

All In

Here is how things stood as of last post.  I had turned down a small but juicy role in a Shakespeare show to keep myself open for one of my dream roles, Barfee in Spelling Bee.  That is the kind of all or nothing choice that I struggle to make, but I went in head first this time.  Tonight was the callback (#2).  I felt really good about my work and on the way home I got the word that I had booked it.  After taking such a big risk having it pay off is incredible.  Even better was the knowledge that I had gone about it the right way.  I want to thank those of you who gave me such great advice in this situation.  Some comps are definitely on the way.

With my health I have felt myself getting into a bit of a rut.  I haven't been logging my calories the way I should and I have been indulging a bit more than I should.  The results I have had recently show few to no ill effects so far, but if I am not careful my good habits could go by the wayside.  I have found myself rationalizing my laziness by saying that I am allowing the changes to be more organic and letting them be part of my everyday life.  That assumes that at some point I will stop logging calories and staying on top of things, which is the wrong mindset.  I need to stay aware because I have shown that I to easily fall into bad habits.  I am recommitting now to doing this the right way and working hard from here on.