Weigh in 2:5

Yet again I am switching things up.  Sundays really were not working for me as weigh in days.  I need to keep those on off days so I can be in the right frame of mind and have the time I need to write.  This also serves as a jumping off point for the following week and a time to collect my thoughts on the previous week so I can assess areas of improvement.  I could not do that when, on Sundays I had to weigh myself, go work for a full day, come home, prepare for work the next day, and then find a few minutes to throw together my blog post.  It took me a few weeks to figure out that the ritual of making my whole morning about my health was a really good, and ultimately indispensable thing.

5 days of tracking my calories like I did last year has proven immediately successful.  I want to be at maintenance, but I have not reached my goals.  Constant awareness can be fatiguing, so I shouldn't be surprised that I fell off the wagon for a while.  I am sure it seems ridiculous to the outside observer seeing as I lost over 150 lbs in a year, but I have been thinking about this for so long that it feels like I have been at this forever.  Sometimes.  There are those moments when I see a not so old picture of myself and see the tangible proof of how far I have come.  Just this week I went to change my address on my driver's license and decided to ask for a picture change as well.  A supervisor had to approve it, but all they said was "congratulations, good job".  That is a great feeling.  Plus my new picture actually looks good, so that was $30 well spent.  Another frustration is that the more I lose the more unsure I become as to the end point.  I have no idea what my ideal weight is.  According to the actuarial tables and BMI measurements I should weigh no more than about 205.  That seems impossibly low to me.  Looking at my waist to hip ratio and estimated body fat percentages I am quite a bit closer to my goal.  Both my bath scale and estimates based on my body measurements peg my body fat percentage at about 29%.  That means to be at the max healthy range I would need to lose about 30 pounds of body fat.  Splitting the difference between the two metrics puts me at about 230, which seems about right to me.  I just don't know, though, and not having a steady target to shoot for is sapping some motivation.  I try to focus on health and happiness, but the scale is always there, and is the biggest indicator I have.  It is hard not to get tunnel vision. Here are the numbers:

Current Weight: 282.6 lbs
Starting Weight: 440.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 4.8 lbs
Weight Loss in Year 2: 2.6 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 157.6 lbs

Like I said, I know what works.  i just have to stay disciplined and do it.