Yet again I am switching things up. Sundays really were not working for me as weigh in days. I need to keep those on off days so I can be in the right frame of mind and have the time I need to write. This also serves as a jumping off point for the following week and a time to collect my thoughts on the previous week so I can assess areas of improvement. I could not do that when, on Sundays I had to weigh myself, go work for a full day, come home, prepare for work the next day, and then find a few minutes to throw together my blog post. It took me a few weeks to figure out that the ritual of making my whole morning about my health was a really good, and ultimately indispensable thing.
5 days of tracking my calories like I did last year has proven immediately successful. I want to be at maintenance, but I have not reached my goals. Constant awareness can be fatiguing, so I shouldn't be surprised that I fell off the wagon for a while. I am sure it seems ridiculous to the outside observer seeing as I lost over 150 lbs in a year, but I have been thinking about this for so long that it feels like I have been at this forever. Sometimes. There are those moments when I see a not so old picture of myself and see the tangible proof of how far I have come. Just this week I went to change my address on my driver's license and decided to ask for a picture change as well. A supervisor had to approve it, but all they said was "congratulations, good job". That is a great feeling. Plus my new picture actually looks good, so that was $30 well spent. Another frustration is that the more I lose the more unsure I become as to the end point. I have no idea what my ideal weight is. According to the actuarial tables and BMI measurements I should weigh no more than about 205. That seems impossibly low to me. Looking at my waist to hip ratio and estimated body fat percentages I am quite a bit closer to my goal. Both my bath scale and estimates based on my body measurements peg my body fat percentage at about 29%. That means to be at the max healthy range I would need to lose about 30 pounds of body fat. Splitting the difference between the two metrics puts me at about 230, which seems about right to me. I just don't know, though, and not having a steady target to shoot for is sapping some motivation. I try to focus on health and happiness, but the scale is always there, and is the biggest indicator I have. It is hard not to get tunnel vision. Here are the numbers:
Current Weight: 282.6 lbs
Starting Weight: 440.2 lbs
Weight Loss This Week: 4.8 lbs
Weight Loss in Year 2: 2.6 lbs
Weight Loss Total: 157.6 lbs
Like I said, I know what works. i just have to stay disciplined and do it.